I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
