One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
