Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want nice things and good sex
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
