I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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