what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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