drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
