I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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