Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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