I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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