O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
