he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
