ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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