Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
