and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
