sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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