Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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