walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
