Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
