i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
