Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
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