you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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