we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
