Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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