fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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