You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
