your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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