i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
