look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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