She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
