so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I AM VODKA MAN
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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