I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
