Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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