i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
