i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
