Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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