it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
