I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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