So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
