There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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