I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Bring me that man meat
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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