What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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