is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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