Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
