As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
