Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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