Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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