Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
