The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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