We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i drank out of a bidet.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
