ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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