Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You need a sexual gate keeper
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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