marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
