sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
