He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize