they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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