I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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