You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dignity is for republicans.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
