I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
