Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
