I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
