WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
