I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
