I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize