i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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