I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
