but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
