Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
