his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize