You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
