Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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