Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
